Do the exact opposite of taking a deep breath when stressed out

Similar to a car, all of us have a throttle and a brake. These are respectively known as the stress response and the calmness response.

Two parts of our autonomous nervous system underpin these responses. Our throttle is located in what scientists call the “sympathetic nervous system”, or alertness system. When active, this system increases our heart rate and makes us alert – or even stressed when it is highly active. That's why the stress response is also known as the "fight-or-flight" response. 

Our brake is located in the “parasympathetic nervous system”, or calmness system. When active, that system decreases our heart rate and makes us calm – or even sleepy when it is highly active. That's why the calmness response is also known as the "rest-and-digest" response.

Both of these systems are genetically encoded into us. As I have explained in last week's post, the tricky part is that our brains are wired to automatically use the throttle whenever something is challenging us. And while using our brake regularly is the key for not letting acute stress turn into chronic stress, activating our calmness system unfortunately doesn't come naturally to us. 

However, we can learn to activate the calmness response in real-time. As it turns out, the relationship between our heart rate and how we feel is a two-way street. Our heart rate not only decreases when we feel calm. The inverse is also true. We start to feel calm when our heart rate goes down. And we can influence our heart rate deliberately – by changing the way we breathe.

Yet, it's not about taking a deep breath. That's precisely the opposite of what we should do when stressed out. If we want to calm down, we need to exhale more than we inhale. Why that works is fascinating: When we exhale, our diaphragm moves up. As a result, there's less space in our chest cavity, and our heart gets a little bit smaller as a result. The blood then flows quicker through our (now smaller) heart. And when that happens, our nervous system senses that blood is flowing quicker, and reacts by slowing our heart down again. You can forget about these details, but remember this: Exhaling triggers our relaxation response.

So, when you're feeling stressed, try changing the ratio of your inhale to exhale. Exhale-emphasized breathing is extremely simple, barely noticeable to others, and takes less than a minute. Here's how to do it: First, inhale through the nose until a count of three. Second, exhale through the mouth until a count of six. Third, repeat this cycle at least two or three times – for a total of 27 to 36 seconds.

Even if you're as skeptical as I was when I first learned about that practice, try it out and see what happens!

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Until next week,
Christian