Having trouble falling asleep? Here are three tips that actually work

Usually, it takes us between 5 and 15 minutes to fall asleep.

On some nights, though, pulling that off can be difficult. Maybe you've had a stressful day at work, or you're worried about something in your private life.

When that happens, trying to control your mind with your mind often backfires. A better way is to use your body to calm down your mind. Although that idea might sound somewhat mystical, it's a science-backed approach that actually works.

As for dealing with stress during the day, the key is to work with your innate brake. That brake is located in the "parasympathetic nervous system", or calmness system. When active, this system makes you calm. And when it's very active, it makes you sleepy.

As it turns out, the calmness system is closely connected to how you breathe. When you exhale more than you inhale, you slow down your heart and trigger the calmness system in real-time. So in order to fall asleep, try changing the ratio of your inhale to exhale.

One such exhale-emphasized breathing practice is very simple and takes less than a minute: First, inhale through the nose until a count of three. Second, exhale through the mouth until a count of six. Third, repeat this cycle at least two or three times – for a total of 27 to 36 seconds. If you want to learn more about why and how it works, check out my earlier post on the topic.

Another practice is the so-called physiological sigh. It combines exhale-emphasized breathing with removing the carbon dioxide in your body to activate your calmness system. Here's how to do it: First, inhale as deeply as possible through the nose for a count of two. Second, do another deep inhale on top of the first one through the nose for a count of one (inhaling as much as possible is crucial!). Third, exhale fully through the mouth for a count of six. If you want to learn more, this post includes a video in which Prof. Andrew Huberman demonstrates how to do a physiological sigh.

In short, whenever you're having trouble falling asleep, remember to do three to five rounds of exhale-emphasized breathing and/or physiological sighing – and see what happens. 

Pro tip:
An alternative approach is the adult version of counting sheep. Count backward from 1000 to zero in increments of 13 – as in 1000, 987, 974, 961, and so on. This works because it occupies your mind just enough to not focus on other things, but not enough to keep you awake. Give it a try and let me know how far you got before falling asleep.

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Until next week,
Christian